Different things : Two Journeys

After a long time, here I am again with my usual “Different Things”. This time, I have two little things. Two journeys.

A little intro for my journeys:
On every other weekend, I travel 3-4 hours to get back to my “Home-Place” and away from “Work-Place”. Two weeks ago, on Friday, I was about to leave office at 6.00 PM and was trying to formulate a plan how to spend the weekend alone. It seemed a very harsh concept of being all alone for a weekend so I called Dad to ask his opinion. Half an hour later, I was seated in a bus which was about to leave for my home. πŸ™‚
On next Friday, I was again on same bus, on same seat, with same water bottle, with same headphone in my ears with same set of songs in mobile. I have used all stock of clothes over two weeks and needed them to be washed. So decided that it was time to go home. πŸ˜›

[Just a note: All conversations mentioned below were originally in Marathi and are translated as well as shortened to include only essential part. You may find them very short but actually each of them was with me for an hour at least]

Journey Back Home: Two Weeks ago

So on my first trip in this month, I found myself a window seat (two seater). A guy of age around 25-27 came and sat beside me. As I don’t have control over public transport and the guy was thin person, I didn’t object.
Things would have gone normally and I could have listened all 89 songs in my list till I reach home, but no. The guy started talking with me without any introduction. First he pointed at my mobile and asked me the model number. Then he changed subject abruptly to his problem (may be because he thought he disturbed me while talking on phone few minutes before). Lets hear it in his words:
Guy: Sorry for bothering you for noting down the number.
Me: Ohh its alright.
Guy: Where are you going?
Me: (murmur the name of place)
Guy; Oh good, I will get down 30 Km before you.
Me: Oh thats great! (The guy obviously missed sarcasm)
Guy: (Continuing little embarrassment) I was talking with some guy who was trying to catch me for something.
Me: Aiiii? (In mind: WTH Did I ask?)
Guy: ….. we face problems like these when we try to go against parents and family…..
Me: Seems like love story to me πŸ˜›
Guy: Yeah. No one is in favor of me when I decided to marry that girl. Every member in her and my family is against us.
Me: ……..
Guy: So this guy was trying to make my life more hell like its not enough already.
Me: Hmmm, but keep your head cool man. I see you are very impatient.
Guy: (Completely impressed by my words) You have experience of facing these conditions?
Me: No, but I can see how you are!!
Guy: yeah, the main problem is cast. My family and her family don’t want an inter-cast marriage!!
Me: Why? I mean what casts you are talking about?
Guy: Well, she is higher cast- Maratha, I mean Open, and I am ____. So they are not approved of me.
Me: (My sympathy evaporate in a second) Well I am also Maratha and I will feel same if it happens in my family, but ok if you are able to earn your bread-butter.
Guy: ??????
Me: I mean you have a job, don’t you?
Guy: ummm, errr, aaaaa, well not exactly, I just earn ____ Rupees per month.
Me: (Completely angry from inside) Ohh then you should try finding a job which will provide enough money to feed your family. It not just going and living with wife.
Guy: umm, err, yeah I will try your advice……..

The conversation ceased as it suddenly as it started. I was angry not only because the guy was trying to get a girl from my caste, but also because he was just another moron who didn’t even deserved a hag. He has never thought of future and about how will he feed his wife. He was just one of the guys I hate who go and impress girls and dumb girls fall for pray and make their rest of life a mess. There are so many examples I have witnessed of this kind. And there is not a single one which was a success.
And for them who care: I am an orthodox person to some extent. At least about casts!!!

Journey Back Home: last week

Next week, I was sitting on same seat and a man in his late 30’s sat with me. He was formal and also started with asking me about my mobile. He told his surname as Pawar. He was curious about what I do and how much I am educated. After some time, I asked him about his life (just in return to his questions). He thought for a minute before answering, but when he answered, I got an impression that he was straining himself not to say something odd.
And without any reference, he asked me if I am married. I told him I am just 22 and don’t intend to marry so early. But this raised my curiosity and I asked the reason.
He said with a sigh, “Man, find a decent girl yourself or atleast marry a girl who you know already!”. I replied,” Yeah thats what people do, isn’t it?”.
Mr. Pawar suddenly let the thing he refrained so long out. He said,” No boy, its not the case. We have very less girls in our caste which will fit with you”.
Me: “So?”
Pawar: “So? I suggest you find a girl yourself instead of believing in arrange marriage, listen to me, my example will help you understand”
He continued, ” I married very late because I didn’t like any girl I was shown by parents. At last I liked a girl who was very very beautiful. I was blinded by her beauty and made decision hurriedly. But after marriage, I found out that she had a ego like no one I saw before. She didn’t even let me touch her at first. So I made a oath that I will not even llok at her until she comes and ask me herself.”
Pawar took a pause looking at my face. I was dumbfounded by hearing his words. He continued,” Now I have a little daughter who is far more beautiful than her mother.”
“But is your wife still like that?”, I asked curiously.
Pawar sighed,” Well she has improved herself a little but her ego is still there.”
“So why I am telling you that? because I found you a good boy and thought of warning you of one of the possibilities that can happen in life.”
The bus came to halt as we passed through a village on way. He said good-bye and left. And I resumed my song list with my mind full of thoughts.

Epilogue:

I met two different kind of persons on tow journeys. First one was an excellent example of careless youth who thought just getting a girl is love and life. Whereas second one Mr. Pawar was a person who spent his youth in working and doing a job for his family because of which he married late. Life played its part as weirdly as it always does. Always unpredictable! First one got a girl who is ready to marry him without thinking where second responsible person gets a beautiful wife who have her upper part(head) empty.
Finally, I can say, ” Life is not as simple as it seems”.

P.S> I am posting this while preparing for my next journey to home. So don’t hesitate to point out any mistakes.

Advertisements

15 thoughts on “Different things : Two Journeys

  1. Last time I checked it illegal to discriminate and talk about caste.

    Interesting though.

    //But is your wife still like that// I wouldn’t ask that question…. They have a kid.
    πŸ™‚

    I got married to the gal i love when I was 23. πŸ™‚ But i was earning and could afford a life together.

  2. //And for them who care: I am an orthodox person to some extent. At least about casts!!!// One mistake its should be castes.. πŸ˜€ U asked yourself!!

    On a serious note I interpreted from ur post [https://lifeloveandlogic.wordpress.com/2008/03/05/keeping-promises-is-hard/]

    that u r in love with someone of another caste. Even if u r not..In todays progressive world I think objection should be about compatibility based on difference in attitudes and thinking influenced by family backgound and upbringing and of course education. Its the orthodox ppl around a couple that are instrumental in the failure of marriages. Eg the in laws who never totally accept the bride as a member because of age old prejudices and ego..likewise in other side too..as seen in Rizwanur case. I think parents or well wishers should try to reason but once they r married by consent or no consent ..should accept the groom/bride and help them in building a happy married life rather than poison their minds or pester them all day long or taunt them. Is a clever girl supposed to find someone rich, of same caste and then fall in love?

    Marriage is a gamble….some love marriages end up in divorce ..some arranged one end up being love stories..some love marriages end up being eternal love stories from beginning to end….and some arranged marriages end up in being an just an arrangement all life….

    Oh I could go on n on on this topic but I’ll end it here..Hope u have wonderful stay at home.

  3. The first guy was an idiot. I would have given him a piece of my mind if I would have been there. Such guys really irritate me to no ends.
    The second guy was simply unlucky. Well, that’s what happens in arranged marriage. Either the couple fall in love later or they compromise with what they have.

  4. Xylene
    Is it really illegal to mention “caste” even if I am not criticizing any specific caste? Or we are just not allowed to say anything about it?
    And I will surely use your example while convincing my father to give me permission for marriage.

    Reema
    What made you think that I in love with a girl who is not of my caste? Its just that my mother will never have an idea that ‘its’ her.
    Also speaking about my view on castes, I think I will write a small post about it if its not illegal. When I say caste, in heart I don’t mean a caste decided by our society for years. I have different measures of people for myself.
    And plz pray for my gamble to be a success πŸ˜€

    Amit
    πŸ˜€
    Good, I will give you his address.

    Rekha
    Well why don’t you try travelling with me for 3-4 hours and you will then know why all these people reveal their hearts content so easily. πŸ™‚

  5. Suda,
    Of course. IPC Section153A

    “By words, either spoken or written, ……………, promotes or attempts to promote, ……………, caste”

    But there are loopholes with which u can escape.

    Jus kidding πŸ™‚

  6. Man, things are sure complicated over there, I cant imagine having a caste system, however if there was one here I assume I would be in a lower level, as my father and his fathers fathers as far back as I can remember were all coal miners, which is a very dirty and nasty job resulting in death alot of the time and it doesnt pay very well…But I work a white collar job, fixing computers for people and corporations…But would I even be able to do that if there was a caste system here? Would I be free to exercise my talents or even believe in myself? I cant say for sure but I would have to guess no, because no one would trust me, or like me enough to give me a white collar job, so maybe it is not that the lower caste guy was lazy and irresponcible but instead he was bullied into thinking he was less of a person than an upper caste guy, after hearing that sort of rot all his life maybe he believed it too and just gave up trying, is that really his own fault? I dont think so.

    Meanwhile, the upper caste gentleman you met grew up with all these great expections for himself and he did live up to them. However he also had great expectations for his wife, and she appearently failed to live up to(although it seems to me she was an upper caste person which probably added to her ego problem, and pretty girls are very prone to have big egos even if there is no caste system to tell them they are “better” than other people.), Regardless, somehow upper caste guy thought that the most important thing in a wife is beauty, but then he found out how that wasnt true. Too late regretably. I think that was what he was trying to tell you, find a girl you like who would make you a good wife, and dont be so hung up on beauty.

    I think alot of these problems might be being caused by the caste system, but maybe I just think that because Im an american and here all people are equal at least as far as what families we come from.

    I really enjoyed reading your blog and it gave me a new perspective things. Ill definately be back again.

    :^) I hope you have a nice ride home. and by the way, what model mobile do you use?

  7. hahahahahahahahahahaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I pity you!! I once sat next to some moron in a flight who had this urge to teach me American Football!! hehe… the kind of ppl we meet! πŸ˜€

  8. Xylene
    Okies, now I am going write next post πŸ˜€

    Reema
    πŸ˜€ Thanku Very Much, Keep Praying For Me πŸ™‚

    Nikhil
    What happens to people who sit next to you? πŸ˜›

    Canopenner
    More I read the comments, more I think I should have written more clearly what I meant by caste. Now thanks for such a good comment. But you have a little mis-conception. Castes in India were primarily designed based on work a person do for living. After some years, people forgot the original concept and started doing a certain work because their forefathers were of same caste. This resulted in wrong social situations we see now a days. I want you tell everything I know here but it will be good if I write a post for it.
    Thanks and welcome. Hope to see you again. πŸ™‚

  9. yeah! please write a post about this issue,
    I see it like Canopener, i dont understand much about castes…
    its confusing for us, as there are no castes in our societies.
    that would be an interesting post!
    have a nice day!!! πŸ™‚

  10. This is what happens if you read hurriedly(keyword reading):

    //As I don’t …….. and the guy was thin person, I didn’t object

    …& the gay had a thin object. 😯

    //Guy: (Continuing little embarrassment) I was talking with some guy who was trying to catch me for something.

    …with some gay who was trying to catch me for something.

    Anyway, whats up with the second guy…

    //So I made a oath that I will not even llok at her until she comes and ask me herself.”

    I think, she came to him later on and said “Touch me,Touch me” and dog knows what this guy would have done out of frustration or desperation.

  11. Interesting! I used to meet many types of interesting people when I travelled in buses in India..it was fun talking with complete strangers..
    I miss that here..actually havent talked with a stranger on a bus/train/flight since a while now..unless ofcourse she’s a pretty girl..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s