Different things : Two Journeys

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After a long time, here I am again with my usual “Different Things”. This time, I have two little things. Two journeys.

A little intro for my journeys:
On every other weekend, I travel 3-4 hours to get back to my “Home-Place” and away from “Work-Place”. Two weeks ago, on Friday, I was about to leave office at 6.00 PM and was trying to formulate a plan how to spend the weekend alone. It seemed a very harsh concept of being all alone for a weekend so I called Dad to ask his opinion. Half an hour later, I was seated in a bus which was about to leave for my home. 🙂
On next Friday, I was again on same bus, on same seat, with same water bottle, with same headphone in my ears with same set of songs in mobile. I have used all stock of clothes over two weeks and needed them to be washed. So decided that it was time to go home. 😛

[Just a note: All conversations mentioned below were originally in Marathi and are translated as well as shortened to include only essential part. You may find them very short but actually each of them was with me for an hour at least]

Journey Back Home: Two Weeks ago

So on my first trip in this month, I found myself a window seat (two seater). A guy of age around 25-27 came and sat beside me. As I don’t have control over public transport and the guy was thin person, I didn’t object.
Things would have gone normally and I could have listened all 89 songs in my list till I reach home, but no. The guy started talking with me without any introduction. First he pointed at my mobile and asked me the model number. Then he changed subject abruptly to his problem (may be because he thought he disturbed me while talking on phone few minutes before). Lets hear it in his words:
Guy: Sorry for bothering you for noting down the number.
Me: Ohh its alright.
Guy: Where are you going?
Me: (murmur the name of place)
Guy; Oh good, I will get down 30 Km before you.
Me: Oh thats great! (The guy obviously missed sarcasm)
Guy: (Continuing little embarrassment) I was talking with some guy who was trying to catch me for something.
Me: Aiiii? (In mind: WTH Did I ask?)
Guy: ….. we face problems like these when we try to go against parents and family…..
Me: Seems like love story to me 😛
Guy: Yeah. No one is in favor of me when I decided to marry that girl. Every member in her and my family is against us.
Me: ……..
Guy: So this guy was trying to make my life more hell like its not enough already.
Me: Hmmm, but keep your head cool man. I see you are very impatient.
Guy: (Completely impressed by my words) You have experience of facing these conditions?
Me: No, but I can see how you are!!
Guy: yeah, the main problem is cast. My family and her family don’t want an inter-cast marriage!!
Me: Why? I mean what casts you are talking about?
Guy: Well, she is higher cast- Maratha, I mean Open, and I am ____. So they are not approved of me.
Me: (My sympathy evaporate in a second) Well I am also Maratha and I will feel same if it happens in my family, but ok if you are able to earn your bread-butter.
Guy: ??????
Me: I mean you have a job, don’t you?
Guy: ummm, errr, aaaaa, well not exactly, I just earn ____ Rupees per month.
Me: (Completely angry from inside) Ohh then you should try finding a job which will provide enough money to feed your family. It not just going and living with wife.
Guy: umm, err, yeah I will try your advice……..

The conversation ceased as it suddenly as it started. I was angry not only because the guy was trying to get a girl from my caste, but also because he was just another moron who didn’t even deserved a hag. He has never thought of future and about how will he feed his wife. He was just one of the guys I hate who go and impress girls and dumb girls fall for pray and make their rest of life a mess. There are so many examples I have witnessed of this kind. And there is not a single one which was a success.
And for them who care: I am an orthodox person to some extent. At least about casts!!!

Journey Back Home: last week

Next week, I was sitting on same seat and a man in his late 30’s sat with me. He was formal and also started with asking me about my mobile. He told his surname as Pawar. He was curious about what I do and how much I am educated. After some time, I asked him about his life (just in return to his questions). He thought for a minute before answering, but when he answered, I got an impression that he was straining himself not to say something odd.
And without any reference, he asked me if I am married. I told him I am just 22 and don’t intend to marry so early. But this raised my curiosity and I asked the reason.
He said with a sigh, “Man, find a decent girl yourself or atleast marry a girl who you know already!”. I replied,” Yeah thats what people do, isn’t it?”.
Mr. Pawar suddenly let the thing he refrained so long out. He said,” No boy, its not the case. We have very less girls in our caste which will fit with you”.
Me: “So?”
Pawar: “So? I suggest you find a girl yourself instead of believing in arrange marriage, listen to me, my example will help you understand”
He continued, ” I married very late because I didn’t like any girl I was shown by parents. At last I liked a girl who was very very beautiful. I was blinded by her beauty and made decision hurriedly. But after marriage, I found out that she had a ego like no one I saw before. She didn’t even let me touch her at first. So I made a oath that I will not even llok at her until she comes and ask me herself.”
Pawar took a pause looking at my face. I was dumbfounded by hearing his words. He continued,” Now I have a little daughter who is far more beautiful than her mother.”
“But is your wife still like that?”, I asked curiously.
Pawar sighed,” Well she has improved herself a little but her ego is still there.”
“So why I am telling you that? because I found you a good boy and thought of warning you of one of the possibilities that can happen in life.”
The bus came to halt as we passed through a village on way. He said good-bye and left. And I resumed my song list with my mind full of thoughts.

Epilogue:

I met two different kind of persons on tow journeys. First one was an excellent example of careless youth who thought just getting a girl is love and life. Whereas second one Mr. Pawar was a person who spent his youth in working and doing a job for his family because of which he married late. Life played its part as weirdly as it always does. Always unpredictable! First one got a girl who is ready to marry him without thinking where second responsible person gets a beautiful wife who have her upper part(head) empty.
Finally, I can say, ” Life is not as simple as it seems”.

P.S> I am posting this while preparing for my next journey to home. So don’t hesitate to point out any mistakes.

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Wedding

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Wedding of Me? No No!! You got it wrong! I am takling about my cousin’s wedding. Actually I wrote a two pages long post for it and went to dinner. While chewing the delicious leg of chicken I bought two hours ago, I asked mum the details of marriage ceremony. She counted me the various little events that are part of a marriage and I was amazed. Because in marriages, I used to look for girls, sweets and treats from grandpa(he gave treats to keep us from starting trouble). I never quite noticed all these things. So decided to keep my ESSAY as draft.
And here is how TYPICAL marriage in MY VILLAGE happens. (Place: Karad, Maharashtra, India)
(Disclaimer for nuts(from my state) who think what they do is ONLY correct: All things I am gonna explain here, HAPPEN in my village, if in your place, people don’t do ANY thing like this, I don’t care, its not my fault)
My other friends, in some days, you will know why I am pissed off on some of my co-state frnds.
Start: My village is located in Maharashtra, India. Its near Karad town.groom
Wedding is most famous event in world. At my homeplace, for wedding, nearly all village gets invited. Everyone gives his/her best suit/saree a try and be ready to go. A vehicle (99% a truck) is kept ready to transport all people to wedding place which is MOST commonly GIRLS (bride’s) home.
The events started when we left groom’s home.
0. The groom left his home on a decorated horse. He traveled upto the boundary of village with a BAND and his friends enjoying, dancing in front of crowd. Then we took off for Bride’s home in car followed closely by truck full of people.
welcome1. On reaching on traditional boundary of host village, we were welcomed by group of old and honourable citizens. This event is called as “MEETING”. The groom then sits again on horse and the crowd walks  cheering and dancing on music of BAND leading the way.
2. On reaching the final place, a small event took place in which we aaawere offered sweets as welcome. A Pujari (“Hindu bramhin” person similar to the one who conducts wedding in church) did some traditional sort of things (procedures) after that.
3. The groom then again mounted on the horse and the crowd followed him to all Temples in the village. This is called as “SHREE VANDAN” meaning getting blessings from all the local gods temples. shreeFinally my cousin stopped at temple of lord “Maruti” (who is unmarried as per puranas) where he tried to make a necklase (Mani-Mangal sutra) for bride(as per tradition of course).
4. The groom returned to marriage place where some “married” women did POOJA of horse and grom. Its called “Washing legs of returnhorse” (this honour is for sisters of bride’s father) (Note: names of events can seem weird coz they are literal translations. In my mothertongue, they don’t sound ridiculas). Every woman is presented a gift from the groom this time.  😀
5. Haldi Ceremony: Next event was most IMP. The bride and groom seated side by side where all women applied termerichaldi(Haldi) to both of them. (See photo on left). I don’t know reason behind this event, may be I need to ask some very old grandma. But everyone thinks it as major event.
6. Now here comes a weird tradition. After Haldi, groom and bride take a bath with Haldi clothes on. Honour of pouring first mug of water is of the local barber in village. I never knew it tradition before because whenever I saw, I thought its local barber is our family pujarifriend or something thats why he is leading or helping. 😛
7. Marriage:Finally came the time of marriage. The Pujari (on right) announced that brides Mama(mother’s brother) and Grooms Mama should now bring them in. This announcement is so famous athat if  Pujari do not say it, we dont feel like being at wedding. And then answer to his announcement came from clouds. Lightning illuminated the place for a second followed by a thunderous sound. The rain was trying few drops when the couple was brought in the tent.
They stood facing each other, only separated by a white cloth held by two persons and some minutes. Two Mama’s stood behind their nephews. They had swords with a Lemon on tip in their hands. The Pujari then started singing lines called “Mangalashtaka”. Word is made from “mangal = good, holy” and “ashtaka = 8 liners”. So it means holy songs of 8 lines each ending with “Shubh Mangallllllllll Saaaawdhaaaaan……”. Rain decided to stay to see the marriage and ceremony continued and no one even tried to run for some cover. Everyone continued.
 At every chorus of ShubhMangalllll…., people threw(?) I mean poured coloured rice beans over the couple. The last song always contain last line as “Go celebrate do some firecrackers”. Earsplitting firecrackers are always blasted on perfect timing. One group of youngsters is dedicated to this.

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The couple was united for not just lifetime but for 7 birth-death cycles (as oer puranas).
9. The couple then put “Ful(flowers) Mala” (Somebody suggest english word for this) to each other. The groom put the necklase called “Mangal Sutra” (which is favorite subject of Hindi Movies) around p1p2bride’s neck.
10. Then other small traditional procedures continued which contained “Kanyadan” (meaning giving[leterally- donating] daughter to groom) and “Yadnya” (see link).
11. Finally after the feast, people headed back to homes. The crying event 😀 by mother and other women from bride’s side (now wife of my brother) went on for some time. We brought our brother and sister-in-law home with joy. Following night was for celebrating. The new married couple goes around the village sitting in a Horse Cart(with two horses and decorated like hell) in nightlamps carried by some people. The groups of celebrating people dance in front of them on rocking music by accompaining BAND. its called “Varat” in Marathi (language). Varat continues late at night. Women who were unable to attend wedding stop them and meet them. Everybody who meets them give blessings and couple visit every temple and Local God’s places.
The traditions continue next five days.
I guess my brother will be able to go to his first HM after that. 😀 He is not complaining though because he likes these traditions and so do I. May be I am going to do all these things in my wedding just for sake of our great “Sanskruti”.